what would you HONESTLY think if you saw self harm scars? - The Student Room
It depends on how old the scars were. If they were old scars, I wouldn't mind/care, most of us have bumpy pasts. But if I could tell they were. I have no problem dating someone that has scars from self harm. We all have scars and bruises from life, just some you can see and some you. If they were old and the reasons behind them well and truly resolved, then I would be fine with it.
When I first started self-harming, for example, I would mainly hit myself or pull my hair.
How To Date A Woman With A Self-Harming Past
As I grew older, I began cutting and experimenting with drugs. After the drugs, I started making myself throw up. Eventually, it progressed to enticing my abusive partner to cut me, and later to challenging her to hit me.
It just takes diligence and an understanding partner. Not everyone self-harms in the same ways. But, it might not. It becomes a type of addiction.
In many cases, the person who self-harms has an inner voice saying that they need to do whatever their self-harming crutch is. We may need you to help talk us out of them sometimes.
Threatening to leave us if we relapse is not a good idea.
Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy | HealthyPlace
A general rule of thumb is to assume the self-harming behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you. Fading scars are a huge deal.
It might seem like something really silly, but most of us are very self-conscious about any scars that might have come from our self-harming. Personally, I never wore shorts in public until I was around 23 — I hid my cutting on my thighs so that I could control who saw them. But bringing attention to the cuts is sort of awkward.
There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity. The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much.
In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all.
If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scarswhich either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss. Self-Harm Scars and Serious Relationships In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth.
There is no easy to way to broach this subject, but it is for the wellbeing of your relationship. The good news, again, is that many people will respond with compassionand respect you for having the courage to speak with them about it. Your partner only wants to know that you are okay now and that self-harm will not interfere with the relationship.
How you approach the conversation is up to you, but it may be helpful to include the above concerns.