There's nothing wrong with entering the dating game a little later than average. "You might not have had much experience actually dating, but. Others are reserved, and you have no idea what they're thinking .. Experienced women are different; because they have experience dating a range of men. You don't need to explain or excuse your lack of dating experience; “I had other priorities” or “Just hadn't met the right person” are all you need.
By your account you've missed out on a big compulsory event school for a variety of reasons. I recommend you not mess with work because dating the job tends to awkward. Bars are out me too, ugh. There's Church for some people. But wait, you have interests! Are they interests that take you out of the house, to a place where other people go?
Where it's ok to talk to one another at some point in the process? Follow those interests, dress up, talk to the people there who have similar interests, enjoy yourself, and smile. Oh, and make a profile on OKCupid. If nothing else, you'll make some friends. Do you drink coffee or other hot-brewed things?
If so, start hanging out at a local coffee shop, enough to become what they would call a regular - you'd be amazed how many dates I've gotten that way, and how many friends I've made.
If you are a bookworm, try a bookstore's coffee shop or a library, and don't put out the do-not-approach signals You're on the right track at least, knowing where you don't want to go and not setting too many expectations on this. It's a long-term thing and, who knows, you might meet the love of your life in a totally unsuspecting place. Just do what you want, be yourself and find a public place where you can enjoy your hobbies or interests. You'll end up meeting a lot of like-minded people and will likely get a few dates out of it.
Otherwise you need to get your friends to hook you up with their friends.
Absolutely no experience dating: How does a relationship start? - scotlanti.info Community Forums
And i'd ask people you are interested in out: That doesn't mean they don't have cute single friends. Can you try to make friends with these guys in a very platonic way so that they'll ask you to join them and their friends on a Friday or Saturday night?
I bet that at least some of the guys you mention have similarly awesome, but single, friends. Come up to guys, talk, and get shot down. Go on craigslist, find a date you seem to have a way with words, so you should be capable of crafting a personal that will land you something outside of pictures of penises [which you will get in droves, be forewarned] and embarrass yourself.
This is the way everyone I know did it -- by screwing up over and over again. Let me try Y.
Inconsequential as long as you do not tie your own self esteem to failing at something you've never tried before. I find that any guy I'm attracted to is in a relationship - and I refuse to be the "homewrecker", so A thousand times yes.
In the journey you are starting, for the love of god, stick to that. Some times it will be harder than others, but temptation isn't fate and this will save you a lot of grief. It's ok to want to be asked out on dates rather than doing the asking yourself, but if you're just passively waiting you're going to make yourself miserable. Choose to do things, like putting up an online dating profile or joining a coed sports club or whatever else is of interest to you that will increase your social circle and give you opportunities to meet men with similar interests.
I do think internet dating might be a good way to start--even if you ultimately decide you hate it. One particular point of advice - you say: I went through a phase where I had a lot of trouble talking to people I was attracted to.
I then went through another phase where I could talk to guys I was attracted to, but I didn't know how to flirt. I was so confused. Why were they so oblivious to my attraction? I was clearly into them! I was speaking in complete sentences and smiling occasionally and not running away! It's only once I learned how to flirt - how to hold someone's gaze for just long enough, how to find excuses to touch their arm or sit a little bit closer, how to grin in that ate-the-canary way - that I started having any real success.
I have no idea if this is an issue for you, but if it is - work on it! Learning how to flirt has paid off immeasurably for me. Online dating helps because you don't have to rely solely on flirting to signal your interest - why else are you on a dating website, agreeing to get coffee with them?
But it's still good to be able to make your desires clear. You say you want your first date to be a guy asking you out. That's totally fine, but you can't make him go totally out on a limb, he won't do it - you need to be able to communicate nonverbally that you're likely to say yes.
Don't settle for less just because you feel that you're starting "late. If any one of these things is true, you will be a complete catch on an online dating site. Sign up, power through writing a half-reasonable profile, and you'll have zero problem getting dates with reasonable guys.
Just ignore the idiots and cretins. Men are not mind-readers. Not sure why the social onus for asking out is on them, when they are generally not taught to be aware of body language and other clues. Make it easy on them and they will make it easy on you. For a long time I was afraid to ask girls out because I didn't want to offend them. Shaun uh has it. Wish more women understood that stuff. Agreeing with chunking express that guys are clueless.
When I was dating my wife she mentioned many times that girls were flirting with me and I had no idea also looking further back it seems I missed alot of other subtle hints. It never hurts to ask someone out. Online dating, on the other hand, is dating.
It's low-pressure, because everyone on the online dating site is looking for a date, so that hurdle's taken care of. Find groups that match your hobbies. That's the exact opposite of what you want here. Again, it's low-pressure, because you know that the other person is looking for a date and they know you're looking for a date.
About half of my friends met their spouse or life partner through online or newspaper-ad or dating-service or speed-dating-event dating. It is not to be dismissed by any means. I met my husband through a mutual friend, so I have no personal dog in this race.
It's a good way to put out the sign that you are looking to date while avoiding the drudgery of a club or meat market scene not my bag either. If you're a girl, it's much easier to find a date online in general than a guy.
I'm a guy who got into dating late, mostly due to anxiety and shyness, so my advice might be a bit different. I understand that you want someone to ask you, and if you hang a shingle out on the internet, at least eventually someone will ask you out.
But it might not be the sort of person you're interested in.
Late to the dating game? - no experience | Ask MetaFilter
The one piece of advice I give my female friends who ask me about dating, especially online, is be proactive. Don't go with the societal norms and expect guys to come to you. They might, but if they don't immediately, you'll just become depressed. I could probably post more details about this if necessary but I honestly don't think it's that relevant; I feel more like it was just a symptom of the fact that I really have no idea what's going on here.
So I'd like to put that behind me and start from square one, I guess. There are a million different questions I could ask, so it's very hard to know where to start, but here goes It sounds a bit basic; you'll probably laugh, that's OK But from what I read here it seems much more gradual and complicated than that. These ideas have got me totally baffled. Asking a girl to do that, however I framed it, would feel as if I were making some big declaration of the fact that I'm attracted to her.
Seems like I've got it all wrong? Finally, I don't want to appear "desperate", I really don't think I am. I have successfully pushed this topic completely out of my mind for a few years now, after my first discouraging adventures.
But I guess I just feel like I need to figure it out sometime, and my "understanding" hasn't changed in the slightest for those few years and I can't see anything likely to change it in the near future.